The seventh episode of the Held Together podcast. Xander meets Anusuya at her house and talks with her and Nora in Anusuya’s living room bed about their experiences of disability, suicidality, and how pain can be sacred.

In this episode, Xander sits down with their acupuncturist, Tom Kirby, for a conversation about unlikely healing, addiction, and what it means to truly be met.

What began as resistance to another white man in medicine became an unexpected relationship rooted in listening, presence, and shared humanity. 

In this conversation, Xander sits down with my friend Raven Hinojosa to trace the threads of our connection—how ritual, magic, and care weave through our friendship. We talk about:

• How our relationship shifted when Raven joined me in disability and illness

• Following ease and pleasure, even in pain

• Evolving and unfurling without needing to “fix” ourselves

• The role of ritual and creativity in deepening love and interdependence

In this tender conversation, Xander Peer Keller and their longtime friend Amy reflect on 20 years of friendship shaped by disability, queerness, sickness, and unchosen paths. Together they explore:

• Unchosen paths — navigating childlessness and incurable illness

• Interdependence in practice — what it means to build and sustain a care web

• Friendship through rupture and repair — lessons from 20 years of showing up

• Invisible grief — losses that aren’t always seen or understood by others

• Receiving care — moving past fear of being “needy” into worthiness and reciprocity

In the first full-length episode of Held Together, host Xander Peer Keller opens the door (and the bed) to a conversation about disability, care, and interdependence. Joined by longtime friend and collaborator Beth, they share stories of building a care web—a network of support rooted in friendship, reciprocity, and queer community.

This episode explores:

• Finding voice and healing through song, storytelling, and community

• How disabled and non-disabled people can practice mutual aid and reciprocity

• The realities of crip time, pain, and communicating needs in interdependent relationships

• Why care webs matter for queer, disabled, and neurodivergent communities

• The joy and creativity that can emerge from interdependence