Speaker. Writer. Facilitator. Consultant.
Meet Xander
Disabled. Sick. Queer. AuDHD. Abolitionist.
Xander spent their life striving to be seen as perfect
by pushing through pain.
Eventually their body and mind were in an untenable state of
pain, illness and anxiety.
That collapse led them back to their body,
their needs,
and the power of collective care.
Now, they create spaces where honesty, grief, and joy can coexist
Where disabled, neurodivergent and queer people
can be seen in both their struggles
and their magic.
I teach, speak, and write about
Disability chronic illness and interdependence
Neurodivergence and creativity
Queerness and collective magic
Whiteness, racism, and systems of harm
Putting theory into practice
Power that grows in the cracks
Dreaming the Web Into the World
In May of 2022, I painted the community
I dreamed of.
This image has been a beacon
of what community could feel like;
a web that is so vibrant and robust that it can hold us
when we fall and breathe new life into all of the edges.
Back then, this felt so far off
now when I look around,
I feel this web becoming more and more a part
of my community.
Experience & Training
Over a decade of coaching, grounded in lived experience
My work lives at the intersection of:
nervous system rewiring
trauma-informed support
somatics and body wisdom
spiritual companioning
the power of ritual
Where it started
My coaching journey began in 2015 with The Conscious Leader through Innovative Connections.
It cracked something open in me — the way a coaching mindset could shift everything.
In 2017, I completed CoachRICE at Rice University, an ICF-accredited program.
I’ve been learning, apprenticing, and refining my practice ever since.
Ongoing Study & Facilitation
I’ve been shaped by incredible teachers and movements:
Wildflower Alliance and Yarrow Collective – deepen my grounding in peer support
Holistic Resistance – a racial-justice organization I’ve studied with since 2020, where I now serve as a facilitator
Certifications:
Weaving Disability Justice
Many of the frameworks I studied didn’t center disability — so I began shaping one that does.
Together with others, I’ve built an approach that weaves:
disability justice
interdependence
the lived wisdom of disabled and chronically ill people
This work bridges coaching, community care, and disability justice,
challenging ableist ideas about capacity, productivity, and healing.
An elderly woman with curly gray hair, glasses, and a blue necklace holding a baby in a white dotted onesie, in a cozy home setting with framed wall art, a Christmas tree, and various household items in the background.
Young Xander with light skin and short hair sitting in a wooden chair, wearing sunglasses and a white pajama set with red and yellow details.
Young Xander with red painted cheeks smiling and wearing a black coat and holding a black hat above her head.
Young Xander in a white soccer jersey holding a soccer ball on a green field.
Young Xander with short blonde hair sitting on a rock near a dock, wearing denim overalls and hiking boots, with a black shirt underneath, in an outdoor setting with water and a wooden structure in the background.
Xander with two beloveds taking a close-up selfie outdoors under a tree. One has light skin, curly blonde hair, and a nose ring, wearing a yellow top and necklace. The second woman has dark skin, short braided hair, and is wearing a black shirt with a Patch that reads "Cup Noodles." The third woman has dark skin, a colorful headscarf, and is wearing a dark top.
Xander speaking into a microphone, wearing yellow-tinted sunglasses, leopard print top, brown overalls, red boots, and the body braid, standing in front of a wall decorated with photos.
Xander and one of their beloveds sitting outdoors in a backyard, one wearing a colorful shirt and sunglasses, the other wearing a patterned headscarf and dress, having a conversation.
Group of people sitting on the floor, smiling and laughing together in a cozy living room.
